We know that 80% of communication is non-verbal — that means that our facial expressions, body language, tone of voice — and yes, what we wear — all send a message about us.
If you want to find people with whom you share common interests, one way is to keep your eyes open and check out other people’s style. An anime t-shirt, a fringed leather jacket, or old-school Vans all make various statements about the wearer.
When we want to “get in where we fit in,” presenting a certain way will help us find our crew. Sometimes, though, figuring out your own style can be a challenge, especially as we grow and even outgrow our clothes — both physically and intellectually. Change is the only constant!
We have had students in our classes who liked to wear clashing styles — a Hawaiian shirt and plaid shorts, for example. When we asked them questions about why they chose that look, they admitted that their eccentric style elicited remarks from others, and that they liked the attention…but was it the kind of attention they really wanted? Did it truly represent who they were, on the inside?
That’s where stylist Kat Depner comes in — to help you find and refine your look!
I had the chance to hang out with Kat one afternoon, and I really learned a lot from her about how to change up my look to better represent myself. Almost two years Zoom life had truly cramped my style, and I needed some fresh pieces to update my look.
Kat is a talented, creative woman who was happy to answer these questions as applicable to our socially struggling learners who might need some coaching around how to present themselves visually to show what they’re into and to find others who might share common interests. Such a fun conversation around something that many people find difficult to execute!
What does style mean to you?
Style is just another way for us to express ourselves, much like the way we talk or the music we listen to. It’s quite simple, and at the same time it can be incredibly powerful. Just like any form of self-expression, some folks use it more than others. I’m a visual person, and so expressing who I am through my style in particular resonates with me.
How have you seen a change in style change someone’s social life?
Style brings people together. Whether you know it or not, we actually use style as a way to nonverbally communicate who we are and who we aren’t to the world around us. It’s kind of like our own individual social filter.
Sometimes, though, we’re not in tune with the message we are sending through our style and we might struggle to find our place in the world. As a personal stylist, I often work with folks who find themselves in this predicament. Once you get in tune with your style and send the message you actually want to send through your clothing, it can be such a freeing experience!
Are autism and style mutually exclusive?
Bright, artistic make-up by Sophie Baverstock, BBC Three, Glow Up
Absolutely not. One of my favorite recent examples is Sophie Baverstock, the winning make-up artist from the Netflix series Glow Up. She opened up about her autism on the show, and she’s one of the most stylish people I’ve seen. Her looks are jaw-dropping!
Just like literally anyone, autistic people too can find themselves out of touch with the message their style is sending to the world. I approach each person as an individual, regardless of neurotype, and find out how to speak their “style language,” so to speak. We evolve it together and make it work for each person uniquely – a beautiful experience to witness!
What advice would you give to anyone who’s struggling to find their style?
I think the biggest question to ask when finding your style is, “Who am I?” Finding your style is really about finding yourself. It starts with not judging and giving yourself permission to grow, experiment, and have fun!
“Who am I?” The ultimate question! Allow yourself time and space to ask yourself this question, and then listen to the answer. Self-determination is the name of this game!
Kat can work with you in person if you live in or around Portland, AND she also can work with you via Zoom! She will ask you a series of questions, including your size and what you usually like to wear, and for you to send her some pictures. Then she will work her style magic with you, either in person at a store or by bringing or sending some selected items to your house to try on! The collaborative process is very enlightening — I guarantee you will learn so much and that the experience will continue to benefit you as you continue to explore your style and how you show out to the world.
Kat Depner • Personal Stylist
Seven • www.sevenstyling.com
Seconds To Impress • Style Blog
(503) 862-7233